In the taxi, Asmara tries to calm the thunder in her chest. She is still trying to catch her breath. She holds her hand to her forehead, which is in such pain, just like her heart. Rico’s abusive shouting is still ringing in her ears. She can hardly believe the swearing and insults that came out of the mouth of someone who she also knew as religiously observant,
Asmara is approaching 30 years of age, she is looking for a life-partner. Rico is a religious man who seemed kind and with a good background. They met at the church where they both worship and became lovers.
But their relationship did not run smoothly, even though the wedding arrangements have already been made. Rico is emotionally unstable it turns out, he can be a very good man, but he can also explode in a rage which he takes out on Asmara through acts of physical violence when something he doesn’t like happens.
This story is an excerpt from the novel, Switched Off by Abigail Sirait which will be published this coming February. Switched Off is Abigail’s first novel and which explicitly raises the issue of abusive relationships. Asmara, as the main protagonist, is portrayed as a victim of violence: verbal, physical and, eventually, financial abuse should her and Rico go ahead and get married.
According to Michael J. Formica, abusive relationships are relationships that are propelled by feelings of fear, inconsistency and insecurity. Perpetrators try to dominate and control their partner. This occurs because the perpetrator is afraid of appearing weak, and so makes every effort to maintain control over the victim.
The problem occurs when violence continues, the insecurity that the victim feels are eventually reproduced in the social values they hold. The victims are afraid that they won’t be loved, and in the end all too often opt to remain in an abusive relationship and adapt to the violence.
The story of Asmara and Rico is one of the very many cases of violence against women that are perpetrated in Indonesia. According to the National Commission Against Violence Against Women’s 2019 Annual Report, of the 13,568 cases of violence against women recorded, 9,637 took place in the domestic sphere (71%). Of this figure, 2,073 cases were perpetrated by a boyfriend against his girlfriend and 5,114 by a husband against his wife.
Abigail understands that violence against women is an ongoing phenomenon in Indonesia. Ironically, the perpetration of violence against women does not discriminate – it can happen to any women regardless of economic, ethnic, religious and educational background.
“The most difficult issue for women to overcome is when they are victims of financial violence. When the women has her potential to earn curtailed, she becomes dependent on her partner,” said Abigail on a visit to the Indonesia for Humanity (IKa) office.
“Switched Off tries to show the initial stages of the vicious circle of violence that women can find themselves in within the domestic setting. If Asmara goes ahead with her wedding, she will be on the receiving end of increasing levels of violence, particularly is she is told to quit her job. Why increasingly bad? Because in the end Asmara will be dependent on Rico, and Rico will be free to do what he likes to Asmara,” continued Abigail with passion.
Providing economic access to victims of domestic violence is key to ensuring that women can become self-sufficient and no longer dependent on their partner’ in order that they can renew their access to economic self-sufficiency that was stolen from them by their partner.
Through Pundi Perempuan, which is managed by Ika and the National Commission for Women, Abigail has made a valuable contribution to dealing with the issue of violence against women in Indonesia by donating the profits from the sale of Switched Off which will be published this coming February. Let us hope that public support for this important issue will continue to flow.